People frequently refer to singleness as a gift. That’s a difficult notion to reckon with when you feel like everyone else got the present of a partner but you. Anyway, in light of the fact that seasons change, I’ve begun to see my singleness as something passing, fleeting even, that will not be here someday. Meaning I have got to soak up all the good things that I won’t have in marriage, a move, or a general season shift. When I was freshly graduated from college, I had a summer of stillness. I had so much free time I was anxious. I had an underlying fear of becoming a bum since I moved back home upon graduation and all the time on my hands made me nervous. But I began to comfort myself with the knowledge that it wouldn’t always be this way. Sure enough, 2 weeks before the school year would have started, I got a job teaching and my free time evaporated.
The same thing is true of seasons. There is something present in your singleness- a freedom, a flexibility that you will not always have- whether it is altered by marriage, moving, pursuing your education, changing careers, etc. Things are sure to shift.
At present, I am travelling with my family to see a school that is interested in my oldest brother. Lately, I look at him and think, “He won’t always be down the hall, on these trips, or so readily accessible to me.” Soak up these moments. My sisters are both under the age of ten and are always under my feet. If I’m not careful I can begin to roll my eyes and get frustrated by their closeness. But when I went to school I cried so many times because I missed them. And that will only happen again if I move or get married.
Latent in marriage are responsibilities to another that singles sometimes forget. I’ve started writing this list called “Count Your Single Blessings” for times where I may be longing for another season or really enjoying my current one. Things on my list include: I don’t have pre-baby jeans, I can have sleepovers, I cook what I want to eat if I want to cook, I don’t have to be home at a certain time, I can sleep through the night, etc. These are things that are subject to change upon getting married and starting a family. They are things I really enjoy and take for granted in my singleness. But being aware of them helps me to squeeze enjoyment, as my pastors say, out of these tiny treasures and my present season.