You know, sometimes I get really frustrated by being single. I find myself wanting to be somewhere else, further along in various aspects of my life, in a different life season and I get knotted up in frustration and impatience. I try not to use my blog as a vent space hence the long silence. But needless to say I’ve been there- on again off again, parked with the lights on, the whole nine.
In the times of peace between outbreaks of war, I am better able to be sober of mind. I can see things much clearer, more as they are, in those interims. That being said, even in the heights of emotional battle I’m learning so much.
When I can take a step back and examine where I stand, where I’ve come from and where it is I would like to be- my mumbling is silenced. I have worried about my life and being a bum coming out of college with no plan. Then came teaching high school. I have worried about making the next move in life on the pathway to destiny. Then came graduate school. I have been overly frantic about finding a parking spot at UNF as to not be late every day to class. Then came VLD (Very Loved Daughter) front space parking every time.
Sometimes the steps didn’t make sense- i.e. teaching with no real education background. Sometimes I didn’t know where the next step would be coming from. Sometimes, if I’m being honest, I wasn’t sure God cared or knew enough about what I needed to give it to me.
I’ll tell you where I’m sitting now. I am sitting at a desk with an internship with an organization that is all about what God has called me to do on this earth. And every step from my undergraduate degree to my background in teaching to my love of empowering women and effecting culture will all be employed in this position. And only God knows how this will be used to propel His objectives even further in my life.
This is what I’m saying…God don’t waste nothing (using my awesome language skills here). Nothing! Every part is an integral piece of the masterpiece He is painting with your life. Sometimes lacking a sense of purpose can incite a thunderous riot of discontentment. But be at peace! He is building something with your life. And the next step requires that you walk out this current place. You are learning skills and disciplines that will serve you well in the next season. Don’t try to skip this.
Imagine a Joseph who never had to serve- would he know anything about being compassionate and empathetic towards others? Would he have ever developed the character to be a humble leader in the face of a huge victory? Would he not have likely become bitter and executed revenge on his brothers the first chance he got?
Let patience have her perfect work in you (James 1:4). Referring back to this awesome opportunity I have with this organization- it was a job I wanted right out of college. I sought to connect with them, but for whatever reason things didn’t work out then. That can be uber frustrating too. But now sitting where I’m sitting, knowing what I know, there were parts of the program that weren’t even in place then. People and things had to be brought to a place where things were ready for me, the environment had to be composed. That ‘hang time’ was tantamount. Pieces were being assembled in the in between.
You’re building something here- like Legos. Specifically, in singleness there are so many monsters and beasts you can tame if you just partner with Jesus. We often quote the scripture about not being weary in well doing, but on one particular day of an impatient frustration cloud He brought me a few verses up. Galatians 6:8 says that if we sow to the Spirit we will reap of the Spirit. That is what I remind myself on my rough and tumble single days. I am sowing to my spirit here. I am building something. And in due time (whenever that is) I will reap. I will look back and be glad that I slayed my dragons and dealt with my skeletons and prepared my fields without (Prov. 24:27). So be encouraged, your situation is serving a purpose: Building your future self.