The older I get, the more I am actually learning about myself. For instance, there are simply times when being single just happens to be a box I check, while there are other more uncomfortable times of singleness being a little tricky to handle.
There are just times that are opportune. The holidays for example! Everyone is bundled up, in a family type of way. Then there’s you. No one to cuddle with. No one’s hand to hold. You’re all alone. Sound familiar?
You have got to hear your Father’s voice in all the pot stirring, “Who told you you were alone? Left out? Forgotten?”
When I went away to college I learned quickly that I was going to keep myself miserable if all I thought about was the stuff that I was missing back home. Poor me not at the football games. I won’t be there to pick my sisters up from school. I won’t be there for the pumpkin picking. That was a recipe for missing out on all the good Jesus had planted in that season for me. Psalms 27:13 states, “[What would have become of me] had I not believed that I would see the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living.” I had to believe God. I had to believe that there was goodness in this place because he led me here (Psalm 23). He promised that goodness and mercy would chase me down to overtake me. That had to be true where I was living.
Thus in singleness one of the ways to shut down the pity party is to stare at what you do have. Looking outside of your portion, outside of the entire spectrum of good that God has set aside only for you, keeps you bitter and ungrateful. That’s an immature perspective.
You also must know you have an enemy. I know we rarely talk about the devil because it sounds so archaic and spooky. However, I was warned like this: Two ways to get in trouble with the devil are to pay too much attention to him or pay too little attention. Here is his due. In your singleness discontentment is the sweet spot for him. He wants to twist your insides to harp on all the sweet treats everyone else is enjoying while you sit in the corner sipping on ice water. He is prowling (1 Peter 5:8). Can he get you to accept loneliness? It’s his mission. Will you become bitter against God? Perfect. Disconnecting you from your life source, the fountain of Zoe life is what he is after. He hates you. You are loved. You have been forgiven. You are his enemy’s heartbeat.
As believers we were not just rescued from the devil’s grasp and an eternal life in hell, we were also fitted and empowered to lead a life walking holy before our God. What does this mean? There is nothing that God has asked of you or called you to that you cannot do. Nothing. Seeking him daily? It can be done. Staunching the road ‘frustration’? Can do. Being gentler in your interactions? It’s all possible. There is nowhere that God has asked you to take dominion that you can’t. It would be unjust, unfair, and cruel of him to ask you- the Born-again, spirit-filled believer- to do something that you can’t. Thus he has given believers the power of the risen Christ on the inside of them (Romans 8:11). His power, in you, is enough. It will meet and rise to the challenge you are facing. So singles, this road of uncertainty looms ahead of you. Settle in yourselves that where God has called you he has given you the ability to walk out well. He has given us everything that pertains to life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3) He has given you the strength, the patient endurance (a favorite phrase of mine), the peace, the gusto to do this for however long he has foreordained. He promised to not leave us forlorn or without help (John 14:18). So when when you get tired or ‘one of those days’ sneaks up on you, you can go to him for rest. He will always encourage you to take that load off (Matt. 11:28-30).